The 4 Keys to Powerful Communication

A Simple and Effective Model

It has long been known and believed that effective communication is

critical to successful relationships in our personal life. But it has only

been since the early 1990s that companies have begun to realize the

importance of powerful and effective communication in the

workplace. They are discovering when effective communication

practices are implemented there is a direct impact on results,

productivity, and job satisfaction.

Implementing effective communication practices is a great idea, but

the reality is, most of us have not been trained in how to communicate

effectively and powerfully, in our personal life or at work. Here are

the 4 keys to powerful communication that can serve as a start for

some, a reminder for others, or perhaps a whole new perspective.

The 4 keys are simple, yet highly impactful when put into practice:

1. Know Your Outcome/s

2. Commit to the Outcome/s

3. Pay Attention

4. Be Flexible

Know Your Outcomes

Most of the time when we enter a conversation where there has been

a problem we must address, we have information we want to present,

or we just want to discuss a particular issue, we do not have a clear

picture in our mind of the outcomes we want to achieve. We might

have a general idea or a feeling of how we would like it to turn out,

but we haven’t taken the time to really focus on the outcomes we

would like to achieve. As the sports psychologist, Dr. Rod Gilbert

pointed out, "If you don’t know where you are going, you might end

up where you are headed." And where you’re headed may be

wherever the conversation leads you and someplace you don’t want

to go. The outcome you might want to produce can be anything from,

"I want my boss to give me a raise, I want this person to take on a

new project, I want this person to feel acknowledged and have a

sense of accomplishment about the project they just finished, or, I just

want us to get to know each other and have fun." The outcome is

what you decide. Next time you have a planned conversation with

someone, take some time to clearly think about what outcomes you

would like to produce, and then go into the conversation with this in

mind. It is also highly recommended that you write the outcomes

down. Take this first step before the next conversation you have and

see what happens.

Commit To The Outcomes

As mentioned above, simply designing outcomes and writing them

down will create improved results in your conversations. Committing

to them will take your results to a new level. There is a big difference

between "wanting" something and being "committed" to having it.

Most of us "want" to be multi millionaires, but how many of us are

"committed" to being one? How many of us are willing to do the

study and work to become a multi millionaire? Once you design your

outcomes, look at them and ask yourself if you are really committed

to those outcomes. Are you willing to do whatever it takes to achieve

those outcomes?

Pay Attention

The default mode for human beings, when we’re having a

conversation, is to think about what we are going to say next, as soon

as the other person stops talking. Given the lack of attention we are

paying the other person and to what they are really saying, we might

as well be having the conversation by ourselves. A sign in former

President Lyndon Baines Johnson’s office pointed clearly to the

effects of this type of conversation… "You ain’t learning nothin’

when you’re doin’ all the talkin." Listening and how we listen are

more critical to a conversation than what we have to say. To be

successful communicators and leaders, we must also be acutely

aware of the feedback we are receiving. This feedback may be verbal

or non-verbal, subtle or overt. In a conversation or a presentation, we

are constantly being provided with feedback we can utilize to forward

the conversation to everyone’s benefit, but we must pay attention. We

must have our senses wide open to receive the feedback, we must be

in the other person’s world, and we must be curious rather than have

all the answers. In order to "pay attention," you must start with this --

take your attention off yourself! You may have the question at this

point, "If I take my attention off myself, how can I produce the results

I want?"

This brings us to the fourth key . . .

Be Flexible

Here’s the scenario: You know what it is you want, you know you

are committed to the outcomes, you are paying close attention to the

feedback you are being given - and you do not like it. Things are not

going the way you planned in this interaction. You are being friendly,

reasonable, curious, committed to win-win, but it is just not

happening. This is not the way it’s supposed to go!

In this hypothetical scenario, what has been missing is your flexibility.

You thought you had it all worked out. Everything you proposed was

fair and equitable, wasn’t it? Yes, from your perspective, your map of

the world. From the other person’s point of view, perhaps something

needs to change. Changing something does not mean that you throw

out the outcomes you want, but you may need to modify them to

have a real win-win situation. As George Bernard Shaw pointed out,

"Progress is impossible without change; and those who cannot change

their minds cannot change anything." Your flexibility is your trump

card. The more ideas, options and choices you can present and

explore with the other person, the farther it will take you toward the

accomplishment of your intended outcome. You must view your

intended outcome as just that, an outcome, not as an agenda or the

only possible outcome.

Communication is a dance and the dancer who knows he wants to

win, pays attention to his partner’s cues and is the most flexible, will

take home the prize. That prize is powerful and effective

communication and relationships that produce extraordinary results

and satisfaction.

If you are someone who would like to produce extraordinary results

and have powerful and effective relationships, take on the following:

For one week, use the four keys in all your planned and important

conversations and see what results you produce. If you would like to

try this out at a slower pace, simply take on the first key to see what

happens. Then you can gradually begin using the other three.

We would also love to hear from you with any successes as well as if

you run into any difficulties and would like some complimentary

coaching. Just give us a call at 1-866-791-7757.