Clean It Up

Creating Powerful Relationships

In the hectic day-to-day activity of business, often we don’t notice when we have

unintentionally done something to cause an upset in our relationships with co-workers

(or clients). And sometimes when we do notice that we have done some damage, we are

embarrassed, or for other reasons are reluctant to apologize. Many of us have grown up

believing that if we did not intentionally do something, that to apologize for it would be

ridiculous and we should not be expected to do so. But to apologize for something we

have done to cause a problem or upset in a relationship, whether intentional or

unintentional, is a sign of our commitment to the relationship… and nothing more than

that. Think of it as keeping your relationships "clean" or as we like to call it, "squeaky

clean." Just like there is a difference between your kitchen table being "clean" and it

being "squeaky clean," it is also true of your relationships . Just as it is healthier to eat

off a "squeaky clean" table, it is healthier to have "squeaky clean" relationships.

Some of the things we do within a business setting that can be easily remedied by an

apology and keep our relationships "squeaky clean" follow:

1. Being late to meetings.

2. Missing project deadlines without communicating.

3. Delivering communications in a way that disempower others.

4. Not soliciting input from a team member before making a major

decision.

5. Not being courteous and polite.

6. Breaking promises.

7. Gossiping.

8. Missing or being late for an appointment.

9. Anything else that offends, bothers, or upsets another person.

It is clear that having "squeaky clean" relationships is extremely important, so you might

wonder how you can tell if your relationships are all "squeaky clean."

A "squeaky clean" relationship is one where there are no withheld communications by

either person, and no barriers to rapport or partnership. There is nothing missing from

the relationship and nothing needed in the relationship. In other words, you can

completely be yourself with that person and say whatever you need to say.

It is easy to tell when the relationship isn’t "squeaky clean" for you, but how do you tell

when it isn’t "squeaky clean" for the other person? This is where you have to trust your

intuition and you have to be willing to ask. We often have a "feeling" that something

isn’t quite right in our relationships but we will justify it as simply our imagination. We

really do know when something is "off" in our relationships; all we need to do is "check

it out." It takes a little risking but the rewards are well worth it. Having freedom in all

your relationships is extraordinary and exciting.

Here’s what it takes to have each of your relationships be "squeaky clean."

1. A commitment to being "squeaky clean."

2. Always being aware of the state of your relationships.

3. A willingness to be told by others, and to tell others, when things are

not "squeaky clean."

4. A willingness to be accountable for any mistakes you make, either

intentional or unintentional.

5. A commitment to hold others accountable for their mistakes, either

intentional or unintentional.

6. A willingness to Clean It Up.

Being willing to Clean It Up with someone and knowing how to do it are two very

different things. There is actually quite an art to cleaning up our mistakes with others.

However, it is much easier when we have a commitment to have excellent, powerful

relationships and partnerships.

Clean It Up Guidelines

1. Communicate succinctly to the person or group, from your perspective,

what:

a. The problem is, or

b. What agreements or promises have been broken

2. Take responsibility and apologize for the part you played in whatever

has caused a problem in the relationship. Use the words "I apologize" or

"I’m sorry."

3. Let them know what they can count on you for in the future; to what

you are committed.

4. Let them know that you are willing to be supported in keeping this

commitment.

5. Give them the opportunity to say whatever they need to say for the

relationship to be "squeaky clean" for them. They may or may not

apologize to you in return. Whatever they say, do not defend or justify

your actions or viewpoint.

6. If they do apologize for their part in the situation, make sure you

accept the apology and receive a promise from them regarding what you

can count on them for in the future. And let them know that based on

your commitment to a powerful partnership, you would like to support

them in that promise in the same way they are going to be supporting

you.

7. Get an agreement to support each other.

A relationship that is "squeaky clean" is imbued with a sense of ease and power, a

relationship where anything is possible. One must, however, be conscientious enough to

keep it clean. Some relationships stay "squeaky clean" for months on end, others need

more attention.

If you would like to begin the process of having powerful and excellent relationships,

take on the following exercise within the next week:

1. Identify at least six business relationships you have that are less than

"squeaky clean." Be honest with yourself when you are scanning your

mental files. If you don’t believe that you have any business relationships

that are not "squeaky clean," revisit our definition above, then check

again.

2. Utilize the above guidelines for "Clean It Up" and clean up three of

those relationships until they are "squeaky clean."

Extra Credit Assignment: The reward will be on a personal level – do it and see.

1. Clean up the three relationships that you least want to clean up.

2. Clean up two personal relationships as well.

We would very much welcome hearing the successes and the changes that take place in

your relationships as a result of you taking on a commitment to having" Squeaky Clean"

relationships and from using the Clean It Up guidelines. Also, please feel free to contact

us if you have any questions about this article and any ideas contained within.